


A Love Like Fall

by appahongjoongie



Category: The Boyz (Korea Band)
Genre: Flashbacks, I don’t know how to tag :), M/M, Romance, please read and I’ll add them as I go :), slight infidelity, thank you :’)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:41:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,973
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23413252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/appahongjoongie/pseuds/appahongjoongie
Summary: Oh, his lips.Only slightly chapped thanks to the cucumber watermelon chapstick that he keeps in his right pocket. They bleed red. A bright contrast against the paleness of the night sky which has been taken over by an army of breathtakingly unique snowflakes. Momentary beauty floated carelessly around the both of them as they gazed at one another unaware of what was to follow, not seeing the reflection of their own futures melting at a single touch. His lips, the lips which he had kissed so many times, had felt over every inch of his body and could distinguish with his eyes closed. They still rendered him breathless. They turned his lungs into useless sacks of matter that added to the heavyweight that settled in his heart that night. Not the cold, not the winter beauty, not even the words he whispered to him next. But his lips.
Relationships: Bae Joonyoung | Jacob/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Choi Chanhee | New/Heo Hyunjoon | Hwall, Choi Chanhee | New/Ji Changmin | Q, Choi Chanhee | New/Kim Younghoon, Choi Chanhee | New/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin, Ji Changmin | Q/Kim Younghoon, Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae/Moon Hyungseo | Kevin
Kudos: 18





	A Love Like Fall

**Author's Note:**

> Dm me at anytime :), all of my social media's are the same @mashichew and @prettychoisannie. It can be about absolutely anything :) until next time <3

The snowflake melts on the tips of his fingers, upon contact. They crumble like buildings with faulty foundations and waste away like fleeting moments whose beauty burned so bright we could never forget them. Chanhee tilts his head towards the sky and watches them fall. They whirl around him in a flurry as he stands in the middle of the empty street. There are rickety streetlamps providing a rusted golden glow that suffers from a continuous flicker. The pavement beneath his feet has lost all hardness as it lays snuggled in its bed of snow. He stomps them softly, feeling the blanket crunch beneath them. Some storefronts have opted to use their televisions as passive security guards. They watch the stores with a stern glare of fluorescent blue shining out brightly and melting over the window seals. In front of him stands another snow gazer. He's wrapped tightly in different layers, his scarf nearly covering the entirety of his lower face. His ears are stuffed into his beanie and his nose beams red. He lifts his head to make eye contact with Chanhee.

"See, I told you it would snow!" Hyunjun lets the words travel to him on the wings of a few fallen snowflakes. It echos ruthlessly off of the corners of the empty street, as they crave for more of his warmth. He ignores them for now and bends at the knees, making the tails of his trenchcoat rest comfortably in the snow. It makes Chanhee winch, so he trudges forward taking the ends of the boy's coat into his hands. It's slightly damp after it's brief introduction with one of the sky's most beautiful creations. He tilts to the right, just barely, to get a peek at what it is the boy is writing.

_Hyunjun..._

_And..._

_Chanhee._

The boy takes a little extra time to draw a small heart at the corner of both of their names. Hyunjun stands so abruptly it causes Chanhee to stumble, but he catches him just like he always does. With his arms snaked around the boy's slender waist, he pulls Chanhee in close, transferring what he can of his warmth to his lover and sets a fire beneath his skin. The street corners whine out in jealousy. They ignore them. Hyunjun studies every inch of his face making sure nothing has changed since the last time he laid eyes on him. Chanhee can't help but smile at the adoration he finds reflected in the boy's eyes.

"You forgot to write forever." Chanhee's words are whispered millimeters away from Hyunjun's lips.

Oh, his lips.

Only slightly chapped thanks to the cucumber watermelon chapstick that he keeps in his right pocket. They bleed red. A bright contrast against the paleness of the night sky which has been taken over by an army of breathtakingly unique snowflakes. Momentary beauty floated carelessly around the both of them as they gazed at one another unaware of what was to follow, not seeing the reflection of their own futures melting at a single touch. His lips, the lips which he had kissed so many times, had felt over every inch of his body and could distinguish with his eyes closed. They still rendered him breathless. They turned his lungs into useless sacks of matter that added to the heavyweight that settled in his heart that night. Not the cold, not the winter beauty, not even the words he whispered to him next. But his lips.

"Chanhee I do understand that it is your tuition dollars at work here, but please try to at least appear as if you're okay with that." Professor Tom insults him. He doesn't take his eyes off of the abnormally large projector board when he speaks to him, but everyone else in the class does it for him, all thirty-two of his classmates, that makes for sixty-four eyes all watching him. He slouches down as far as possible in his seat.

"Yes sir, my apologies." Kevin turns to look at him, his eyes doing the thing where they speak for him. They seem to be asking Chanhee "what's wrong" as they dart over every aspect of his entire being to which Chanhee just smiles and shakes his head, his platinum hair staying perfectly in place as his heart rattles dangerously against his rib cage. He prays silently that Kevin can't hear it. Hear the beating his intestines suffer at the hand of his own memory. Hear the way his heart still forgets it's purpose at the mere thought of him even after all these past few months. His heart's hyperventilating falls on deaf ears as Kevin nods slowly, spares Chanhee one last glance and turns back to the tall and lanky individual that is their world history professor. The class goes on without a hitch and at exactly 11:00 a.m. despite the professor's ongoing instructions the class begins to file out. Kevin speaks immediately.

"Today is the last class before winter break so I was thinking we head out for a little celebration." He shimmies his shoulders and wiggles his eyebrows as we walk down the long corridor. It's full of posters that portray history in the most beautiful of lights.

"It's a Monday. What kind of celebration?" We make our way down the flight of stairs absentmindedly, our legs on autopilot.

"Yes, but we don't have any classes for the next month so don't be like that." his voice tilts at the end letting his words fall victim to a whine. The tone makes Chanhee chuckle softly as they make their way out into the bitterness of the winter air. She remembers just as well as Chanhee what took place around this same time. The amount of time he lost, wasting it away in his cocoon made from the same two shirts and shorts he rotated for months.

"Besides, I think it'll do you some good you know? It'll be better than being cooped up thinking about what could've been." It takes him a while to register what it is he's referring to, but when it clicks he feels his heart brace itself against his rib cage and hold on for dear life. So he had heard his heart's cries for relief. Chanhee doesn't respond, doesn't really know how to. So they both say nothing as they slide onto the leather seats of Kevin's Kia. They wait a few moments for the car to warm itself up, the slow groove of Day Glow's "Can I Call You Tonight" engulfing them in a comforting hold. Kevin switches on the seat warmers and Chanhee gets comfortable. As they pull out of the parking lot he watches the passing faces, only catching full glimpses here and there. The ride was silent aside from the radio so when Kevin pulls into the parking lot of Chanhee's dormitory which lacked life aside from those two, it fit the mood. Symptoms of winter break.

Kevin reaches around his steering wheel to remove them but is stopped by his passenger.

"You don't have to walk me inside every day you know."Chanhee's fingers are soft as he cuffs them around Kevin's dainty wrist. They lock eyes for a brief moment before Chanhee is scurrying out the passenger seat and slamming his door shut. Kevin has to roll the window down to talk to him. The wind slides in and whips his hair around his face elegantly. He's been talking about getting a haircut for a while.

"I walk you because I want to, not because I need to." He's leaned over the armrest and uses his fingers as a headrest as he holds them on his window seal. Chanhee laughs with the sky and gives Kevin's uncut hair a nice ruffle.

"I know, now go. You have a party to get ready for remember?" and that's what does it because within the next five minutes he's pulling out of the lifeless parking lot. Chanhee sighs and closes his eyes. He lets mother nature fall around him, lets her control what he sees but only by feeling. She lets the wind press butterfly kisses against his temple, the cold bites at his cheeks, and lets the sun play peek a boo with his body through the plethora of clouds. He makes the short walk to his door and rests his hand against the handle. He's right, I shouldn't be thinking of _you_.

Not anymore.

Kevin made it clear that he wanted to leave his dorm around 10 p.m. so that leaves Chanhee with the remainder of the day too himself. He finds himself something a little more comfortable to settle in and brews himself a cup of tea. He spends the next few hours catching up on his favorite dramas and fiddling with the string hanging from his time-worn jacket. The clock reads _"8:42 p.m."_ when he decides it's time to get ready, and _"9:28 p.m."_ when he makes it out his door. Winter greeted him with familiarity.

With whispers as she tiptoes by and takes ahold of his fingers. She places gentle kisses to his knuckles, the residue of her lipstick leaves them with a tint of burgundy. The walk across campus from his dormitory to the one that houses his best friend is crisp, to say the least. He makes do with the little warmth that his cardigan provides and take to blowing against the palms of his hands. The sun has long since made its exit and opened the sky for the governing of the moon. It comes accompanied by its many stars and their subtle glow. They all work together with the flickering lampost that lines each side of the walkway to help me see clearly. The wind blows and whips my curled hair harshly around my face.

Who decides to go clubbing in this weather?

The door of Kevin's dorm is wrapped in a "rustic red" wrapping paper, sprinkled with chubby Santas and vanilla frosted gingerbread men. He insisted he help him with the installment despite the fact that he does not live here.

"You're my best friend! You're the only person that can help me." He whined into his ear one afternoon while they sat in the dining hall. Chanhee shoved another ravioli between his lips before he responded.

"The people you room with okay with this?" Talking around the pasta is proven to be a difficult task as he struggles to keep it in his mouth.

"Well of course. I had to get their approval before buying the wrapping paper." Kevin's words come out matter of factly as he eyes the boy curiously.

"Well then get them to do it." He smacked the back of Chanhee's head so hard after that response it knocked the pasta right out of his mouth and back into the bowl.

"Be at my place at 6 p.m. sharp. No later. Stupid." He was so angry that he couldn't even stand up from the table straight. He banged his knees a few times and stumbled as he yanked his bookbag from the back of his chair. He was outside his door no later than 5:58 p.m.

The paper crinkles beneath his knuckles as he taps the beat of "Here Comes Santa Claus.". Chanhee hears the telltale pattern of Kevin's heels against the hardwood floors. He slings the door open with one hand and holds a bottle of red wine in the other. Despite the fierceness of the weather he's chosen to dress in something a little revealing. His legs hugged tightly by a pair of black skinny jeans that enunciate the slight curves in his slender hips and he topped it off with an oversized sweater that hangs off his shoulders seductively. Judging by the redness of his cheeks he's counting on the consumption of alcohol during the pre-game to keep him warm. For permission into his humble home, he has to deem his friends own attire acceptable. So he rakes a judgemental eye from the tip of his head to the soles of his Dr. Martens. Thighs clad in a classic pair of light wash jeans with holes spread around sporadically and his chest sparsely covered by a plain dark blue sweater and his favorite cream sweater. Did anyone mention it was winter? Realizing this was as close to pneumonia Chanhee was going to get he waves him inside.

"Chanhee! You made it!" He flings her arms around his neck and almost sends both of them to the ground. 

"You didn't give me much of a choice." He grunts as Chanhee shoves him off of him and yank the bottle from his hands.

"Exams are over! We have to celebrate." He does a skip and a hop that should be impossible considering the amount of alcohol he's consumed.

"It's Monday." Chanhee take a swig right from the bottle. As he let the liquid ease down his throat he detects movement to the left of him. Without removing his lips from the bottle or stopping the flow he rotates his head 180 degrees and gets an eye full of Changmin. He's clearing up the used solo cups littered across the expanse of their miniature dining table. He's dressed in his own version of a casual outing. Chest encased in a satin button-down, it's pastel shade darkening the tone of his natural skin slightly. His legs are hidden by a simple pair of straight-leg jeans, and the mismatched socks wrapped around his wiggling toes are enough to tell me he's wearing tennis shoes.

"Yes, but it's the Monday that starts Winter break, so technically that makes it a Friday." Kevin sing-songs as his bare feet pat melodically against the scratched hardwood floors, keeping time for him. Changmin stops in the midst of his frantic dusting to scowl harshly at our shared sociopath of a friend.

"That still makes it Monday, regardless of how you look at it." His response is blunt and overflowing with an abundance of resentment. He squeezes the handle of the Swiffer duster, the swell of his knuckles turn white in his rage. The scene looks a lot like something off of the animal planet. The cute little gazel skips and hops unaware of the ferocious lion waiting in the bushes.

"Down boy," Chanhee wheezes out as he smirks around the head of the bottle. Changmin makes eye contact with his fellow hostage across the room and they share a knowing smile. Kevin erupts with aggravation and lets it spill from every opening of his body and soak the floors of the entire room. Neither of the other two occupants care as they continue with their previous task.

"I'm trying to help here you know. Be a good friend and make sure my friends have a great time here and this is how I get treated? Like some kind of leech picked up from an unwanted camping trip." He pouts pitifully as he makes his way over to the couch that holds a content Chanhee. He takes a seat and rests his head in the boy's lap and Chanhee immediately begins to card his fingers against the boy's scalp. Changmin continues his light dusting as he listens to his roommate's repetitive whining.

"I promise Kev your efforts don't go unnoticed." Chanhee's underlying message is hard for anyone in the room to miss. Changmin stops his dusting to send a wave of comfort in Chanhee's direction with one smile. He watches as Chanhee locks eyes with Kevin and passes his thanks to him through a delicate kiss placed on his forehead. He sits for a moment, his chin resting against Kevin's head and his arms wrapped around his neck. The atmosphere is a soft one provoking strong emotions. So at the first sign of the liquid swell in the corners of his fragile best friend's eyes accompanied by the lump that he watches constrict his throat and the ache in his own heart he decides to switch lanes.

"Okay, you two I think it's about time to head out." He stands over the two with his hands on his hips and a teasing smile playing with his lips.

"Oh right," Kevin bounces up quickly, "the party is at the AOA house." He skitters to the front door on the tips of his toes and the other two follow along.

"What's with you and fraternity parties?" Chanhee asks as they lock up and make their way out of the dorm. Kevin shrugs and mumbles something about them being the only ones that actually make it through the night without getting shut down. The group walks while dabbling in idle conversation. They talk about work, tv dramas, and any and everything else that crosses their mind. But him. They don't talk about him. Despite the one million questions they can ask and the one million and one answers he can give. They don't ask about Hyunjun and Chanhee prefers it that way. Hopes that pretending that nothing happened will help him fix his anxious heart and the gaping hole in his chest. Their walk feels short as they near the doors of the two-story home. Too consumed in his own thoughts he doesn't notice the music or it's lack thereof.

The house is gorgeous, equipped with floor to ceiling glass windows, dark hardwood floors, high arched ceilings and a beautiful balcony that looked out over all of Santa Monica. The furniture seems to nice to be sat upon so I wander aimlessly at Kevin's lead down one of the many expensively decorated halls. There are a few family portraits here and there on the walls, topped off with crown molding. Changmin eyes them with a sparkle of confusion. He leans in close to Kevin and screams his question into his ear over the music.

"I thought you said it was a frat party?" He makes sure to emphasize the word as they walk down the empty hallway to the living room where they can hear what sounds like a few different voices.

"Well more like a small gathering, that's okay with you guys right?" Chanhee and Changmin both nod when Kevin pivots his head to the left and then the right to get his eyes on them, more interested in a quiet night with people whose company they actually enjoy. In the kitchen, there are about seven boys in total. They all stand around a marble counter, various bottles of liquor and cans of beer strewn about and an endless amount of snacks stakes their claim. They all turn to greet the new arrivals with inviting smiles and small waves. Jacob steps out and wraps each boy in his arms. He slings his arm across Kevin's shoulder and points a finger across the room. Following his aim, their eyes fall on someone they've never seen. He stands at the corner of the island with his hands resting on the sharp corners. He's dressed in casual clothing, a thing black hoodie swallowing his upper half whole and his hair is styled perfectly, a lone strand curled and hanging against his forehead. He sends the boys a polite smile.

"So you guys know everyone, but that guy over there," he addresses the rather tall gentleman with a wagging finger. His eyes are soft and his smile inviting as he introduces himself as "Younghoon." His eyes linger a little longer on Chanhee and he can feel the balls of his cheek begin to gain warmth and this time he can't blame it on winter's need to be close. Sangyeon breaks the trance and Younghoon turns away from Chanhee with a shy smile.

"Have you guys already begun drinking?" Changmin questions the obvious as he reaches for a can of beer for his own enjoyment.

"You know these fools are incapable of waiting for anyone." Hyunjae answers as he sips from his own half-empty can. A can is passed to Chanhee in the hands of Younghoon and he accepts it with a slight bow of his head. The boys participate in idle conversations that revolve around winter break plans, important happenings in one anothers lives, and any ever

"We have board games and beer so let's get this party started."He says in a booming voice that lacks nothing, especially authority. His response is met with a chain of cheers and whoops. They all filled their arms with as much alcohol and snacks as possible and began to make the move. As Chanhee reaches to pick up a remaining six-pack of Hite beer he bumps into the boy standing next to him.

"I'm sorry." he smiles up at who appears to be Younghoon. His eyes crinkle at the edges spreads the rest of his amusement throughout his face in spurts. He turns to rest his back against the marble counter. He's rather tall so he has to tilt his head slightly to make eye contact with Chanhee and it makes the boy laugh. Younghoon stretches out a long arm and takes the case he planned on carrying himself.

"I can take that." Chanhee reaches for the beer stacked on top of the many other things in the boy's long arms. He slides to the right, just out of Chanhee's reach.

"No I'll carry it, and you have to let me. As your way of saying sorry for nearly knocking me over." His eyes shine bright with mischief as he watches Chanhee process his words.

"I didn't almost knock you over, I barely tapped you and I don't think this is how negotiating works." He quirks his head to the side and eyes the other boy curiously as he chooses to smile brightly in return.

"Says who?" He's turned and heading out of the doorway before Chanhee can register the question. He chuckles, one that sounds so light and airy that it almost goes unnoticed, but when the boy throws a smile over his shoulder he knows it meet his ears. He grabs a bag of chips and follows him into the living room.

The T.V. is playing an episode of some Netflix original in the background, the show long-forgotten amongst the arrival of the three boys. Eric and Sangyeon had come bearing beer, a stack of Cards Against Humanity cards in a tattered box, that wasn't it's original habitat and their ridiculously contagious smiles. The living room is lined with Amazon bought led lights. The ones that are "all over TikTok" and were desperately needed in the fraternity house because "how else are we supposed to set the mood?" Sunwoo's exact words. Anyways the object of Chanhee's attention bathes the home in an iridescent glow. The red leaks from the ceilings and pools in the center of their living room floor and Jacob wallows in it. Chanhee gives a fond shake of his head as the boys play around with the remote for the lights.

It's now purple.

"Bro how in the fuck is 'In a world ravaged by roaches our only solace is death' funnier than 'In a world ravaged by incest our only solace is pulling out'." Juyeon is full-fledged pouting as he looks at Hyunjae and his answers laying side by side on their flea market coffee table. Changmin can barely contain his tipsy laughter as he babysits his fourth can of Hite. He lays lazily against Sunwoo's shoulder as said boy sips slowly from his own can. No one is sure exactly how many he's had but he seems to be in a better state than most.

"I don't think it's about the funny factor with this one, but the ethical one babe." Kevin runs his hands across the expanse of the older boys back in an attempt at healing his wounded ego. He's uncoordinated even when he's sober, but now six beers in? Maybe seven, he'd fall face first even if he was laying down. He turns sharply and almost headbutts his companion.

"There are no ethics in Cards Against Humanity Kevin!" Juyeon sounds so pitiful as Kevin squishes his cheeks between the palms of his hands and coos.

"I know baby, you're number one to me." He tends to get extremely affectionate when he's drunk. Always kissing everyone's cheeks, throwing out pet names whenever he can, and in desperate need of touching any person within a six-foot radius. Juyeon is his target of affection for the night. It just so happens that that's the complete opposite for Juhaknyeon as he sits on the furthest end of the couch, his legs bunched under him in some weird rendition of criss-cross applesauce. The only one of us not on the floor. Despite that he still allows Hyunjae to lay his feet across his lap as he rests on his back in front of the couch.

"New game!" Sangyeon laughs walking in, arms full of bowls that hold pretzels, popcorn, and another with some fruits. He plops himself down next to Chanhee, it causes a few pretzel sticks to spew out sporadically, but no one says anything. He slides an arm around his small waist and rests his head on the boy's shoulder. Chanhee laughs and pats the top of his head. He sniffs a few times at the boy's dyed hair and makes eye contact with Younghoon across the room and they burst out into uncontrollable giggles. Sangyeon shushes them.

"Let's play Truth or Dare." his fingers have found a bare area on Chanhee's hip. A spot his sweater failed to hide, so he runs his fingers absent-mindedly against the region.

"Did you say-," Changmin pauses to take another sip from his can (he's finally moved on to his fifth one), "Truth or Dare?" Before Sangyeon can respond Juhaknyeon fills the silence for the first time in a while.

"I'm Down."

"Me- me too." Hyunjae sits up straight with only a few hiccups but reaches for his next can. The rest of the group give their own affirmative nods and they all turn to Chanhee simultaneously.

"Channie you gonna play?" Kevin smiles at him through lazy lids. Chanhee shrugs which in their language is sign language for "yes". Too comfortable to make the walk to the kitchen to get himself another can, Chanhee reaches for Hyunjae's and takes a sip. 

"Let's start with the youngest and we'll go clockwise from Sunwoos's choice." Chanhee scans the room to make sure everyone is okay with his suggestions and when's meet with a sea of bobbleheads he awaits Sunwoo's choice.

"Hyunjae what was your most embarrassing moment?" The boy answers immediately.

"Ah! This was tenth-grade year and some of my classmates and I were going to sneak back into the school to have some beers and just shit around. Anyways long story short I got shitfaced and ended up pissing myself and the guy that I had a crush on since middle school-" Juyeon cuts him off with a thunder of laughter.

"Not Haein?"

"Oh yes Haein," Hyunjae laughs back, "anyways he had to carry me back on his back while I was still in my piss soaked clothes. I couldn't look at him for weeks." His answers gave the game a fantastic start. The boys all tumble over in laughter and down the rest of their inhibitions with the remains of the beer in the refrigerator. The game continues on with similar questions, "have you farted in class, you're shitting in a bathroom and there's no toilet paper what do you do, what does your browser history look like."

There is a question that shifts the dynamics of the game. One that tetters on the line of acceptable and forbidden in a room full of teenage boys that have for the better half of the night drowned themselves in beer that they went through a lot to get. It sucks the easygoing atmosphere in through a fire breathing mouth and spits it out, the smoke fills the room with an agonizing quietness. It was Changmin's turn and he had chosen Younghoon.

"Who do you think here is the worthy enough to call you their boyfriend?" Changmin sprawled his torso over the splintering coffee table to get a better look at the older boy who glared at him in return. Everyone in the room absentmindedly leaned in themselves as they waited for the boy's answer. Changmin included.

"Uhm," Younghoon plays with the rim of his seventh beer, "maybe," he lifts his gaze to scan them over the boys in the room without actually looking anyone in their eyes.

"Chanhee, okay next question." He spits the words out so quickly Changmin almost falls over the table trying to make sure he actually heard him.

"Younghoon! Seriously? Chanhee?" Sangyeon wails as he refuses to accept his fate.

"Oh Sangyeon baby, jealousy looks good on no one." Chanhee pops an invisible collar as he aggravates Sangyeon to no end.

"I swear I'll-"

"Chanhee truth or Dare?" Juhaknyeon cuts in.

"Dare."

"I dare you to tell us who you think is the cutest in the room." Chanhee sends a flirtatious smile Younghoon's way and the boys erupt into a chorus of "ohs" and "ahs" as they watch. Younghoon subconsciously leans in closer as he awaits the boys response.

"Easy. Younghoon."

And that did it. They sealed a fate that night with a foundation made from unsure kisses and allowed their walls to be plastered with the hopes they had created for previous people. But it worked, that house made from broken love allowed the process of letting go become a lot easier and showed the heart what it felt like to love again in all of its honesty and purity. But that was then and this is now and nature is ready to show what it can do when she is unaccounted for in the plans of man.

**Author's Note:**

> Dm me at anytime :), all of my social media's are the same @mashichew and @prettychoisannie. It can be about absolutely anything :) until next time <3


End file.
